


Mine and only mine

by Majinie



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: But you'll get lots of sweet fluff in return, Fluff, Like Tony is a child at the beginning and needs to grow up kind of slow build, M/M, Possessive Loki, Rebirth, Slow Build, also Tony is called Antonio, child!Tony, really slow build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-14 21:44:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4581213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majinie/pseuds/Majinie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tony dies, he neither goes to Hel nor to Valhalla. He gets reborn because Loki's magic woven into his soul prevents him from beginning an afterlife.<br/>Loki knows that and is ready to do anything to get his magic back - which is only possible if Tony trusts him enough to give it out of his free will. So Loki stays with the reborn child version of his former lover Anthony - to gain his trust to regain his magic, of course. For no other reason.<br/>He just needs to remember that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All the love goes to my beta Myrsky because she keeps saving me. ^.^

It takes Loki twelve years to find Tony again.

 

He has never been adapt at reading auras (at least, not more than the common mage is – his specialities have always been illusions, invisibility, shape-shifting or teleporting;the tricks of a coward, as Thor used to say, no matter how often they have saved his life), so he has spent years studying and, to a certain degree, mastering the art of it. Still, he has never been sure if he would be able to find the mortal again.

 

After all, Anthony died these years ago.

 

Loki has, all the time, not had an idea whether he would be reborn as a human, an Aesir or perhaps on Vanaheim... he has even travelled to Jotunheim to find the reincarnation of the man who has been his lover all those years ago. All he knows is that he _will_ be reborn, sooner or later, because there is something in his soul that does not belong to him. Loki's magic is intertwined with Anthony's soul and with a soul that is not completely his, he will not be able to go to Hel or Valhalla.

 

No matter what it costs, Loki is going to get his magic back.

 

He is, however, aware that his efforts could take him centuries until they bear fruit. Anthony might not be reborn in centuries from now on, but Loki would not be Loki if he would stop trying to find him; simply because there is the chance that Anthony will  _not_ be reborn in, say, two hundred years, but right now. He is going to get his magic back or die trying.

 

Also, he has a debt to repay.

 

When Loki steps out of the branches of Yggdrasil, opening a small gateway for him to cross dimensions, Loki finds himself in front of the Avengers Tower. The sight makes him curse softly as he turns away; his travels on the world tree always seem to end here when he has no other goal set in mind.  _Must be the force of habit_ , he thinks with a bitter smile. Here, where everything had begun when Anthony had nonchalantly offered him, the would-be conqueror, a drink. 

 

He takes another leap through space that ends in the small, run-down apartment he has here in New York. He has not been here for four years; he has spent those travelling the other realms and allowing himself some rest in Vanaheim. The flat here is and has always been a temporary abode as he never stays in one place for long and it is accordingly small (living room, bedroom and kitchen are one room, the only separate chamber is the bath).

 

With a sigh, he slumps onto the only couch and coughs at the cloud of dust that rises out of its cushions. The problem is solved with a simple spell (cleaning spells have been among his first ones to learn because magic was an uncommon practice in Asgard; thus, the magical books in the library have always been covered in layers of dust) after which the god makes himself as comfortable as possible while he prepares for the searching spell. He keeps telling himself that if it fails this time, he will visit Thor because of the lack of something better to do, but no matter how often he gets disappointed, he never does.

 

Closing his eyes, he extends his mind into the world around him. Slowly. First, he feels the energies of the people moving in the storeys below and above him. Further. The people on the streets around him, some moving quickly in their vehicles, others standing still. Further. The whole city, a large net of foreign auras. Further. And further. And  _further_ . Suddenly, there is a surge of familiar energy that causes Loki to gasp and lose his concentration. With wide eyes, he stared at the blank wall in front of him. That is what he has been waiting for. That was Anthony's energy, there was no mistake to it. The familiar tingle of the arc reactor's energy signature is missing, but it was still the same aura. Loki is sure – he has to be. He knows how his own magic feels after all.

 

Magic is a part of its user, like an additional limb that can be trained or neglected. Loki's magic is the only reason Anthony is reborn,  _has_ to be reborn, instead of going to the afterlife. His soul was not purely his and he could not take another being's 'limbs' into another world with him. Loki's magic.

 

Loki wants it back.

 

Closing his eyes again, he begins his search anew. This time, he is prepared to be met by both his and Anthony's energy and focusses on it, trying to pinpoint its location. The place he ends up finding is... he has to strain his knowledge of Midgard's geography, but the island seemed to be... Italy?  _Well, a little tan can't hurt, can it_ , Loki thinks sarcastically, fully aware that he will always stay pale as a sheet. 

 

He rises from the couch, clapping his hands together. He has some magic to reclaim. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki finds Tony again. No, wait. Toni.

Italy is a country that Loki has never visited before. It is too warm for his liking (which might be related to his heritage) and he has never seen a reason to go there.

 

He leans against a wall and closes his eyes for a moment. Teleporting through half a realm takes its toll even on him. After a moment of rest, he straightens himself up and takes in his surroundings. The town Anthony's energy has led him to doesn't seem very large, judging by the amount of human auras he has felt before, but it's not a village either. The houses appear to be old without looking ruinous, there are trees lining the road that keep the sun from burning onto the streets and there's barely any car in sight. Loki admits to himself that the place is actually beautiful – far it's way more similar to the cities he likes than the noisy city of New York.

 

But that is not what he is here for. He closes his eyes and feels Anthony's aura somewhere nearby, only a street or two away. With a strange feeling of unease – he has waited twelve years for this moment – the god crosses the road and heads into the direction the energy signature is coming from (after casting a cooling spell over himself).

 

Before he takes the turn that is going to show him what he is looking for, he stops to breathe in deeply. Voices are reaching his ears; the chatter and squealing of many small children and, above that, a woman: “Young man, you will get down here this instant! I am going to count to three, and I want you on the ground by the time I'm finished! Do we have an understanding, Toni? One...” Loki freezes as he is about to take the first step. _Toni_? Could it be... no, that chance is ridiculously small. A name so similar...

 

Before his thoughts can keep him from moving entirely, he forces himself to step out into the sun that shines onto the other street. He immediately spots a large group of children of various ages, all between two and six years old. With them are two women, one of which is standing beneath a tree and is calling out: “Three!” The god's gaze follows hers and he sees a small, three or four-year-old boy nestled in the tree's branches and glaring downwards defiantly. A mop of black hair falls around his face in tousled curls, but as he looks further up the street and meets Loki's eyes, the mage stops dead in his tracks. The energy originating from that child is Anthony's and his eyes hold the exact same colour that those of his former lover hade had.

 

Oh, the Norns must hate him.

 

Swallowing, he approaches the group and casually asks the woman that is calling out to Tony (no, Toni): “What is the boy doing up there?” (Once again, he is infinitely grateful for the All-speak. Over 6.500 languages in one realm, these Midgardians were clearly out of their right mind.)

 

She turns towards him, her dark brown curls falling into her face as she sighs and answers: “He has been up there for almost fifteen minutes now and refuses to come back down and... well, we can't just pull him down by his legs, can we.” She gives a small, helpless smile.

 

Loki smiles back at her as he offers: “Should I fetch him?”

 

The grateful smile of the young woman (she can't be much older than twenty years) widens as she hopefully asks: “You would do that?”

 

The god nods and gives a meaningless affirmative reply as he turns towards the tree and steps onto a branch, quickly climbing up until he is on eye-level with the child who is straddling a limb of the tree and stares at Loki in wonder with his terribly familiar eyes.

 

Loki reminds himself that he only wants the child for his magic before he smiles and greets: “Hey.”

 

“Hey”, Tony (Toni!) replies sceptically. “Who're you?”

 

For a second, the mage thinks about which one of his Midgard personae he should use, and then goes with a Norwegian one and introduces himself: “I am Loki... Kristiansen.” Even with the years that lay between the invasion and now, people still recognize the names Laufeyson or Odinson as those of the one who has attacked them, then befriended and then – Loki shakes his head to get rid of those thoughts.

 

“That's a weird name”, the boy states and Loki raises an eyebrow in question until he continues: “I'm Antonio. But nice people say Toni.”

 

“Then it's nice to meet you, Toni”, the god says, carefully pronouncing the name so it does not sound American, and extends a hand. After eyeing it suspiciously for a moment, Toni wraps his small fingers around its palm. Even now, as a child, he already has a nice tan that contrasts with Loki's pale skin. “This is a nice tree you have here.”

 

“You think so?”, Toni asks, clearly surprised, before he hastily amends: “I mean, of course.”

 

Loki keeps smiling as he balls the hand that Antonio touched into a fist around a branch. It is tingling with the magic stirring beneath the skin, sensing its counterpart in the boy who sits just opposite from him. _It is not time yet_ , he reminds himself.

 

“I think I could sit up here _all day_ ”, he states instead and makes a show of shifting around to make himself more comfortable. “Or maybe even the night?”

 

“You... think so?”, Toni asks, sounding almost desperate.

 

“Yes”, Loki replies, “the tree is really most wonderful. Don't you think so? We don't need to get back down there. Let us just stay here forever.”

 

“Yes”, comes the quiet reply and the god winks at the kindergarten teacher standing by the tree's roots. There is about half a minute of silence, Toni squirming more and more next to him, before the boy announces: “I'll tell you a secret.”

 

Loki turns towards him with wide eyes and asks: “You would do that?”

 

Toni nods seriously and glances down nervously before he adds: “Only if you keep it.” The mage suppresses his smile and nods. “Well, um...” The boy looks around as if possible listeners could be hiding in the tree's branches, then leans forward to whisper: “I'm actually not going down 'cause I can't.”

 

Having a really hard time not laughing now (because really, that child is adorable), Loki gasps and exclaims: “Wait, you are telling me that –“

 

“Shhhhht!”, Toni interrupts and waves a hand while the index finger of the other lays on his lips. Too late he notices that he has no hold like this and squeaks as he clutches the tree trunk hastily, then turns towards Loki again, slower this time, and hisses: “You can't be that _loud_! They'll hear!”

 

“I'm so sorry”, the mage whispers, a hand covering his mouth. “But I have a plan.”

 

“You do?”, the child asks hopefully, leaning forward in order to catch every hushed word.

 

Loki nods in response and whispers: “I am going to carry you down”, he cuts off the protest that is beginning to bubble up, “and we will make it look like you ordered me to. You can be a prince and I'll be your servant.” Toni seems to contemplate the offer or a moment before he nods (slowly and regally; the prince role fits him) and extends a chubby little hand towards Loki. The god leans forward and slings an arm around Toni, who clings to him in return. Carefully holding the boy close, Loki uses his free arm to climb back down again. Toni nuzzles his neck and where his cheek touches the god's, his magic stirs again in an attempt to reach its counterpart. He hurries to get down onto the ground, setting the boy onto his feet and then bowing with an amused little smile.

 

“Thank you, servant”, Toni says haughtily, his arms crossed in front of his chest and his chin raised high.

 

“Always at your service, _maestro_ ”, Loki replies with a wink to the kindergarten teacher and straightens up. “Is there anything else I may be of assistance with?”

 

The boy needs a moment to respond to that, but when he does, it is in the same childishly overbearing way as before: “No. You sha- shou- you, uh... You may retreat now.” The god smiles. Most children don't even speak that many words when they are in little Toni's age and this child already seems... older in some way. It makes Loki wonder if the kid's parents are as 'capable' as those in his last life. It somehow doesn't feel fair. To live like that once should be enough, shouldn't it?

 

“You handled that very well”, the kindergarten teacher says with a smile while Toni declares that he “demands to eat a 'nana right now”. Loki nods as an idea strikes him, puts on his most winning smile and slips into a new role: “Thank you! I simply love children, but the kindergarten in Norway that I worked in was closed a while ago.”

 

She exclaims an excited “Oh!” and claps her hands with a delighted smile. “You work as a kindergarten teacher?”  
  


“I do – I mean, I _did_ ”, the god replies and puts on a pained smile. “Currently, I live off my...” Brother? No. Father? No way. Some friend? Definitely not. “...mother's pocket until I find something new.”

 

She oh'es again and her dark eyes go wide as she replies in a conspirational whisper: “You know, I think I might be able to do something about that.” Loki feigns a look of surprise and internally sighs. He is going to need to do _lots_ of acting in the next time but... well. It is not like he is not good at that, he supposes. The woman (does he even know her name yet? Or, for that matter, did she ask for his?) continues: “Actually, Anna there”, she gestures towards an elderly woman who is currently scolding a little girl, “is about to retire. She's the one running the kindergarten and... I will take up that position once she leaves, but for that, we need at least one employee other than me. Do you suppose that you...?”

 

Loki _really_ has to fight back a laugh at that. He hasn't expected this to be difficult, no, but this nameless woman is serving him everything he wants on a silver platter. With an enthusiastic smile that is not all that faked this time, he exclaims: “Are you serious? I would love to do that! This is a beautiful place and these children are so very wonderful. I cannot imagine anything better.”

 

Which is, of course, not true. It is not that Loki _hates_ children, but the experiences he has made with them are everything but pleasant. Looking at them now, all these squealing, happy little creatures, reminds him of how his own children could have grown up if it weren't for Odin and his stupid Asgardian citizen, all of them unable to deal with anything that differed from them. Ignorant, selfish morons.

 

But this is something he has to do, he mustn't forget that. This is all just something he has no choice in if he really wants Anthony – Antonio – to trust him completely, utterly, with all of himself – because that is what will be necessary if he wants the boy to give up the magic Loki has accidentally transferred to him. Staying with him from so early on will grant him a special place in the child's heart, he knows that, and it is the only way to reach his goal (it is definitely worth the effort to get a part of him back that he values more than his heart). And if it takes ten years or fifteen to accomplish it, well, time is something he has more than enough of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go :D I have still no idea where this story is going (alright, so I have a general idea, but nothing set) so I'll let it surprise me. My stories keep doing that anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's first day as a kindergarten teacher. He loves children (and maybe that will come true when he tells himself often enough?).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here I thought I'd update this more frequently than Sold to the Devil because the chapters are shorter. Heh.

_I could snap your neck and you would not even realize I have done so until you were standing in front of my daughter in Helheim, you little brat_ , Loki thinks as he smiles at the little blonde girl in front of him, assuring her that he is of course not angry while looking around for a towel to wipe the child's apple juice from his face. And shirt.  _Why did I think this was a good idea again?_

 

Getting the job as kindergarten teacher has been too easy, really. Because of the retirement of their elderly manager, they were more than eager to take a new employee in, especially with the faked degrees and certificates Loki has shown them. And now he is here. Among small, squealing, _adorable_ monsters. They are going to be the end of him. Or the other way around – it is really tempting sometimes.

 

Isabella, the young (twenty-five years old, maybe? Midgardian ages are always hard to tell for him, seeing how he is more than a thousand years older than her while not looking much older) kindergarten teacher who is his only co-worker at the moment and future leader of the facility, comes hurrying into his direction with a towel and hands it to him before kneeling down in front of the sniffling girl while Loki wipes most of the mess off his face. How the child managed to lose hold of her bottle in a way like that, he didn't know. Then again, these were children, devious little creatures in their very own right. He should better prepare himself for a lot of things like that.

 

“Sarah?”, Isabella calls through the room, catching the attention of one of the oldest children. “Could you watch the younger ones for a moment? I'll give Loki here a change of clothing, we will be back in a moment.” Sarah nods and immediately uses her new position in charge to berate a smaller child for moving toys to the drawing tables. _What a little tyrant._

 

Loki follows Isabella into a back room where they keep their bags and, in case of the young woman, spare clothing. She begins to dig through a small box while Loki unbuttons his shirt (how did he think wearing button-ups in a kindergarten was a good idea?) and grimaces at the way the apple juice becomes more and more sticky as it dries. He peels out of his wet shirt, pretending not to notice Isabella staring, and heads for the staff bathroom to get the worst of the mess off of himself. Children are the worst little creatures ever.

 

With a sigh and a splash of cold water, he reminds himself _I was just like that... about a millennium ago._ The thought is followed by _But I wasn't_ that _obnoxious, was I?_ Trying the classical self-convincing trick, Loki stared at his reflection in the mirror and mumbled: “I love children, I love children, I love them more than anything, I want to spend my whole life working with children, children are wonderful little creatures, children are adorable, I love children – Norns, this is ridiculous.” He has posed as Thor's bridesmaid once, he would be able to keep some little brats in check.

 

Isabella provides him with a shirt that is about two sizes too small (which seems to please her, judging by the looks she throws him) and has “ _Kindergarten teacher... only because multitasking Ninja is not a job title”_ printed on its front – how true indeed – before they both return to the main room. The town is small and thus there are only about twenty-five children signed in the whole institution. Now, early in the morning, only four of them are here. Small graces.

 

As they enter, the door to the street opens and a middle-aged woman ushers Antonio in, an air of impatience around her. The resemblance between her and the boy is unmissable: Dark, curly hair, the small nose and the form of their lips. Only Antonio's eyes are some shades lighter than his mother's and Loki wonders if he inherited them from his father, whom he hasn't met yet, or if it's really just the Norns torturing him by giving this boy such a similar appearance, name and maybe even character as in his last life.

 

Casually, he approaches the two of them, pretending to head for the notice-board next to the entrance. As soon as Toni lays eyes on him, though, the boy wriggles free from his mother who tries to pry his shoes off him and squeals: “Loki!” This time, the prince can't help but genuinely smile as he kneels down and lets Toni jump into his arms.

 

“Good morning, little one”, he greets and doesn't have to pretend all that much to not want to murder the small mortal.

 

“Toni!”, the child's mother chides, interrupting their little moment. “Come back here and tell me goodbye, I need to get to work.”

 

Reluctantly, the boy disentangles himself from Loki and dutifully places a kiss on his mother's cheek before he asks quietly, hands folded and voice as levelled as possible for an excited four-year-old: “Can I go play now, momma?”

 

“Yes, of course. Off you go.” As soon as that is said, Toni is back to clutching Loki's trousers. The god watches as his mother leaves, black curls swinging behind her. She is wearing a blazer, heels and make-up – some well-paid job, then, something she has to hurry to be in time for.

 

“Lokiii!”, Toni whines and the mage picks him up. Once again, his magic reacts to the touch, but it isn't unexpected this time. Actually, it is... pleasant, in a way that is completely new to Loki. Never say he isn't up for new things.

 

Shifting Toni so the boy sits on his hip, Loki carries him into the main room while asking: “Is your mother always this stressed?” One thing he appreciates about children was how he can be blunt with them. A little boy wouldn't wonder why anyone asked a question. So simple and straight-forward.

 

“She does a lot of work”, the child explains, sounding like he is repeating something he heard over and over again, “so we can have a nice house and food. It's okay when she's stressed sometimes.”

 

“Ah. I... understand”, Loki mutters slowly. She did seem to be in quite the hurry when she left and judging by her formal attire, she has the sort of job one shouldn't be late for. “And what about your father?”

 

“I don't have a dad”, Toni explains casually, causing the god to falter in his steps.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“I don't have a dad”, the boy repeats. “Momma said that. She said we get along on our own and that we gotta be strong without a dad. She can do that if I'm strong, too.” He squirms a little in Loki's grip. “Can I go play now?”

 

“Yes, of course”, Loki replies distractedly and sets the child down. Toni immediately runs off towards a corner of the room and begins to stack wooden toy bricks over one another. Four years old and already building. The prince smiles a small, pained smile. He will have to stand being around the boy for at least ten years until he can start teaching him how to control his magic so he can give it back to Loki, because removing it with force would never work without harming them both. Patience and endurance. He can do that.

 

Since he has nothing else to do, Loki joins Toni in his corner and sits down beside him, leaving it to Isabella to take care of the other kids. It is her job, after all.

 

“Do you like building things?”, he asks, picking one of the wooden bricks up.

 

Toni eyes his construction as if he hadn't thought about that so far and after a moment, he decides: “It's nice.” Tipping the stack over with a foot, he adds: “But not _that_ nice.”

 

The mage laughs softly and asks further: “So what do you want to be, if not an engineer?”

 

“I'll be a musician”, Toni declares without hesitation, although he has to try twice to wrap his tongue around the last word, and elaborates: “With my cello.” Loki blinks at him in surprise. The old... Tony has never been one to appreciate classical music; jazz was the closest he got to it and even that was really rare. Maybe they are not that similar after all – the thought is equally disappointing and relieving.

 

“That sounds great”, the god remarks after a hesitation that was just a little too long to seem natural. “I'm sure I will be a big fan of your music.”

 

That causes the little future cellist to beam widely, baring his small, white teeth, and he grabs Loki's hand to show him something else, the prince offering no resistance. It is his job now, isn't it?

 

#

 

Over the past few years, Loki has learned a thing or two about humanity, and the internet knows everything he doesn't know. Luckily, it has been easy to find a place to live in the small town and the landlady, an incredibly tiny old woman with a desperate need for someone to talk to about all the problems that old women seem to have, has not been bothered by his spontaneous decision to find a flat here. Instead, they have chattered over tea for almost two hours (meaning that she talked and Loki nodded and hummed whenever he thought it was necessary) before she let him into an empty apartment.

 

With the help of a computer, the internet and some things that the old Anthony has taught him, Loki sets up an identity for Loki Kristiansen, including a bank account and a family background. It is a lot more complicated than he has originally expected and he works late into the night, but he has a Midgardian identity now, which should solve most of the problems he has encountered so far: He now has all certificates he needs to get by and money is (thanks to some magic tricks) not an issue anymore. Nothing can go wrong now.

 

Except that he is still turning in the sheets at five in the morning although he has gone to bed at 3am. Finally, he gives up and spends the time until six with a cup of tea on the coffee table. He doesn't really need the sleep, but it is sort of a habit and even he can't go too long without.

 

He doesn't like to think about what keeps him awake, but Toni's delighted smiles keep appearing behind his eyelids and they bring up images of Anthony that he has long since buried. Reminding himself that he only wants to use the boy, only get his magic back, nothing more, Loki finishes the tea and heads back to the bedroom to get dressed. It has taken only about a day and the thought of exploiting Toni's trust and childish ignorance feels wrong already – and there still is a _long_ way ahead of him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just saying, that t-shirt does actually exist.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how often this story will be updated because my current main project is Sold to the Devil... but I couldn't get this idea out of my head and hope that you'll love it just as much as I do.  
> Since I'm pretty much making most of the stuff up as I go (although I have a general plan), feel free to make suggestions! I'd love to hear your ideas ^.^


End file.
